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The Kavanaugh Kerfuffle

The Kavanaugh Kerfuffle

Histrionics on Capitol Hill
Working up a sweat to destroy Brett

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Brett Kavanaugh, President Trump’s second super duper controversial Supreme Court nominee, faced a kooky, caffeine-addled accuser yesterday in his quest for confirmation by the Senate. She produced zero evidence and zero corroborating witnesses, of course. Several other hysterical women have accused the Eagle Scout/Circuit Court judge/former choirboy/college virgin of gross sexual misconduct, including facilitating a ‘gang rape’ during his high school years. He categorically denied the allegations and furiously defended his name before a blood-thirsty judiciary panel comprised of partisan Dems who are out to eviscerate him.

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An enthusiastic [but responsible] beer guzzler and relentless advocate for women (he’s helped more gals get legal gigs than any other bencher), Kavanaugh is obviously the victim of a poisonous partisan plot to prevent the Supreme Court bench getting a conservative majority.

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Anyway, the optics were totally atrocious and gut-wrenching with doofy Dianne Feinstein, unhinged virtue signaler Mazie Hirono, harpy Kamala Harris and mega-blatherskite Cory Booker clearly trying to maximize damage and preempt Kavanaugh’s passage.

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Judge Brett Kavanaugh has an impeccable record and has performed years of stellar public service. He has been vetted six times by the FBI and various intel agencies (nothing sketchy was found) and was Ken Starr’s right hand during the Clinton-Lewinsky probe, which busted Bill for his sexual shenanigans.

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His record as a judge is pretty praise-worthy, too, as are his policy/legal chops. Kavanaugh opposes race-based affirmative action programs; he doesn’t want to tinker “in any way” with Roe v. Wade; he supports the right to own guns; he opposes excessive government intrusion in our lives; he supports digital privacy; he wants to empower and expand gender equality and individual rights; and he’s a top dog constitutional scholar with a penchant for imbibing artisanal beer.

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Chill, guys, Brett Kavanaugh ain’t so bad. We predict he will get confirmed next week after the FBI conducts one last supplemental check. We also predict that Michael Avenatti, that ratty lawyer who reps porn starlets, will produce another handful of gang rape victims. Ugh.  

 

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